Actor, fight director, and writer. These are some of the many hats that homegrown TV personality Lim Yu-Beng has donned within his career that we are acquainted with.
While many may be familiar with his acting stint including his roles in Triple Nine (1995), Mr Midnight: Beware The Monsters (2022), Kung Fu Killer (2008), and The Lover, and The Dumb Waiter, his latest work helps us get acquainted with a different side of Yu-Beng.
Last month, the homegrown talent added his first music album to his impressive portfolio. Titled Notes To Self, the project is a collection of eight original songs that were written between 2008 to 2015.
Even before Yu-Beng worked on the album, music has always been a part of his life. As a director and producer in the world of theatre, he would create tunes when the moment called for it and work with musicians and composers to create pieces for musicals.
While he is accustomed to taking the form of fictional characters when acting, Yu-Beng now wears his heart on his sleeve with his songs on Notes To Self.
“There’s nowhere to hide. It’s just me, laid bare. But I felt that I had to be, for the integrity of the work,” he said. “Notes To Self is literally a bunch of notes to myself, almost like sticking post-its on a mirror, but it’s also a way to express those eight years in eight songs, which I could never do in half an hour of dialogue or prose”.
In an interview with Hear65, Yu-Beng talks about his interest in creating music, how Notes To Self came together, and the experience of sharing his music at his recent album launch party.
Hi, Yu-Beng! What ignited your interest in creating music?
Well, I’ve always been deeply moved by music. I grew up singing in church, school, and even kindergarten (I remember as a 4-year-old being the kid who sang the National Anthem). The first records (yes, vinyl) I think I memorized were Oliver! and Jesus Christ Superstar. So music has always been there.
Can you share about the hurdles you faced when transitioning from acting to music?
Oh, I don’t see it as a “transition”! It’s not emigrating, and I ain’t giving up my acting passport! It is an inclusive process. You add on to the things you do, just as we do with any skillset or mindset. And there definitely are hurdles, as with any growth process. For me, I think the most obvious one is that writing for theatre, I’m very used to writing from a character’s viewpoint. When I am acting, I am acting from a character’s viewpoint. In this project, I am writing and performing as myself! That’s terrifying ha! I don’t have music training or wizardry to dazzle you with. I only have myself to share.
“I don’t have music training or wizardry to dazzle you with. I only have myself to share.”
Congratulations on the release of your first album Notes To Self! Could you walk us through the story behind the album and what it means to you?
Oh, thank you so much! Well, it’s a collection of songs written between 2008 and 2015. The first song was written in ’08 for a theatre piece called Do Not Disturb, created by the marvelous Tan Kheng Hua. Then around 2013, I think, she commissioned me to write a few more for an arts project called OH! Open House. And the big push came in 2015 for the Singapore Writers’ Festival, where Huzir Sulaiman commissioned me to present a showing of my songs, as my writing. So instead of having a reader reading my plays or poems, I sang my songs. I wrote another four for that. So by November 2015, all the songs you hear on the album were already written and performed, just by me and some dear musician friends on acoustic guitar.
Because they were written in that eight-year period, they speak a lot of what I saw around me at the time. The home that Kheng, Shi-An, and I shared with our cats, the neighbourhood of Joo Chiat. And some darker feelings which I just couldn’t express, except through song. Even today, writing the album notes, I can’t. I can only say them through the songs. You know when writing musicals, sometimes you hit a moment where you think “There’s no way I can get these two characters from A to B in four minutes of dialogue”. But you can in a song. And that’s how it feels sometimes.
“Notes To Self is literally a bunch of notes to myself, almost like sticking post-its on a mirror.”
Could you tell us about your memorable moments while writing and recording Notes To Self?
Ahahaha! Ok, this is a funny thing, but I’m a bit of a wannabe rocker who’s actually a choir boy. You can hear the journey in my voice. And so how I hear it in my head is not always what’s coming outta my mouth.
At one stage of recording, I said to Daniel Chai, my co-producer, who also recorded, mixed and mastered the whole thing, “Hey Dan, this song is all about the angst and the pain, but I sound like a choir boy! Can you please look for the takes where I had more dirt, more grit in the voice?” And Dan said to me “Yubes. I have to be honest with you. Your voice is really clean. There is no ‘dirty’. So sorry, I think this is something you need to accept.” Hahaha until now, I laugh when I remember this! Yes. And I have been on a journey for the last decade of accepting my voice. So it continues. Funnily enough, I have been recovering from bronchitis the past few months, and some vocal damage. And now my voice doesn’t sound as clean as I want it to!
Having come from the theatre world, you mentioned the practice of receiving “Notes” from directors as feedback on performances. It’s fascinating how you’ve translated this concept into your musical pieces. Could you tell us about how the “Notes” from your life influenced the creation of songs on the album?
Haha well you know how you often do something, and then you say “Ok note to self, never do that again”? I’ve had a few of those moments in my life. But I’ve also had moments when I think “Wow....this is really the greatest thing ever, and I need to remember and value that.” We need both kinds of notes to ourselves, especially if we’re sticking them on our mirror. I guess the most obvious note is ‘Note To Young Self’. Here, I sing to the young me, who at 9 years old was labeled “the sensitive kid”. Today we would call that kid “emo”. And I grew up in a time and culture where if somebody started to sing, the cool thing to do was immediately make fun of them and say “Wah my hair stand, got ghost ah”. It was immaterial whether the singing was any good or not. The important thing was to first sh*t on them.
It’s hard to push back against haters, and I can’t even be bothered to try. But we can make ourselves more resilient, reinforce our belief in ourselves, and the knowledge that it is our hearts that make us human, and we need humanity in this world. That’s my note to myself, young and present day.
“We can make ourselves more resilient, reinforce our belief in ourselves, and the knowledge that it is our hearts that make us human, and we need humanity in this world.”
Among the nine tracks featured in the album, is there one that holds a special place in your heart the most? If so, tell us why.
Golly. No there really isn’t! But I suppose the biggest real notes to myself are ‘Note To Young Self’ and ‘Tall’. ‘Tall’ is written for my daughter, who when she was born, changed me forever. I talk about how we all have baggage, but there comes a time to get over yourself and love. [It’s the] toughest job you’ll ever have, but the most rewarding. And it’s called ‘Tall’ because it gets me over my small man complex!
Given your extensive experience in acting, is there any resemblance between the storytelling in your films and the narratives behind Notes To Self?
Yes, I think there is. Although my influences are perhaps more theatre and literature. But many basic principles are the same. A few musician friends have commented on the storytelling style of the lyrics, which I hadn’t realized, because I just write that way. I think in many of the songs there is a narrative, You’re either following me as I observe a cat, or a bit of history, or describing a situation I’m in. I then point out something, often in the chorus, and if you followed me that far, you’re probably ready to take a step further. And then it leads to a moment when something hits home, which is usually a realization about self. I might develop that expression in a bridge. And then we revisit the chorus with a slightly new perspective. We often do that writing musicals, where you usually never wanna end a song in the same emotional or dramatic situation as you were at the beginning. You must have journeyed.
But I say all this in retrospect! I wasn’t conscious of it while writing. In fact, I tried to be “un-conscious”.
You must’ve been excited to debut Notes To Self at the launch party held at The Blackbird last month! How did it feel to perform your new musical pieces in front of a live crowd?
Omigosh it was incredible. I had performed all eight songs in 2015 to a crowd of 50 in a small room at The Arts House, in sombre white plastic chairs. Now, I was in a place where I watched my favourite rock ‘n’ roll bands play, in front of an invited list of people who all have a dedicated interest in music. This time, there’s food and drinks, it was a more raucous environment, people feel less formal, they could talk to me, and the energy was huge. And the love hits you. It was humbling and edifying.
It really puts to the test that thing I was talking about, being myself instead of acting. I’m used to being onstage, but to sing my own words, to speak as me and share my thoughts and feelings, is big. I loved it, but I have to respect how big it is. Meaning that I have to demand of myself that truth. Plus get it all technically right! Which I didn’t, but hey, live shows are more than a checklist. They are a heightened moment of life. And we shared that together.
“I’m used to being onstage, but to sing my own words, to speak as me and share my thoughts and feelings, is big.”
Finally, what other music genres and themes do you wish to explore in the future?
Gosh..... I’m wide open! I’m definitely not done with writing musicals for the stage, and I hope to write one for the screen one day. But in terms of another self-revealing album? I wouldn’t be able to choose a genre first. I would probably try to write “unconsciously” again, and see what it sounds like. For example, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would write a country song, but ‘Smarter Than You’ sounds like country! And I’m a long way from Nashville. But the content dictated the form.
Stream Lim Yu-Beng’s Notes To Self here.
